Making Time for Yourself: A Necessary Act of Self-Preservation

We live in a culture that glorifies busyness. Our calendars overflow with obligations and a busy schedule, our phones buzz with endless demands, and somewhere in the chaos, we’ve convinced ourselves that being perpetually occupied is a badge of honor. But here’s what nobody tells you: running on empty doesn’t make you productive—it makes you brittle.

Allocating time for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s essential maintenance for a human being trying to function in a busy and demanding world.

Taking time for yourself is an intentional act of self-care and renewal, not just a reaction to feeling overwhelmed by busyness.

Exploring your early experiences and narratives about time can help you understand your current feelings of time scarcity and overwhelm.

You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight—just begin, even with the smallest step, to reclaim moments for yourself.

Why We Resist

Before we talk about how to carve out personal time, let’s acknowledge why it feels so difficult. Many of us carry guilt when we prioritize ourselves. We worry we’re letting others down, falling behind, or indulging when we should be grinding. Parents, especially those managing family responsibilities and caring for kids, feel guilty stepping away from their children. Employees fear seeming uncommitted. Caregivers struggle to justify their own needs when someone else depends on them.

Feeling guilty for taking care of yourself is common, especially among women, but it is essential for maintaining balance and mental well-being.

This guilt is often amplified by the voices around us—and worse, the voice in our own heads—that insist we should be doing more, achieving more, giving more. But consider this: you cannot pour from an empty cup. The person who never rests eventually breaks, and when you break, everyone who depends on you suffers too.

Questioning your guilt about taking time for yourself is an important part of performing inner work.

What “Me Time” Actually Means

Personal time doesn’t require grand gestures or expensive retreats (though those can be wonderful). It means creating pockets in your life for alone time—a form of self-care and reflection—where you’re not performing a role for anyone else—not employee, parent, partner, or friend. It’s time where your only job is to exist and to reconnect with whatever makes you feel human.

To define what ‘me time’ means for you, start by identifying your core needs, such as exercise, reading, or relaxation.

This might look like reading without interruption, taking a solitary walk, pursuing a hobby that serves no practical purpose, or simply choosing to sit in silence and be in the present moment with your thoughts. It could be exercise that clears your mind, creative work that feeds your soul, or even doing absolutely nothing at all. People, especially introverts, need time to rest and regroup, and the amount of necessary downtime increases during stressful times. Time alone can also help you experience freedom, creativity, intimacy, and spirituality. The key is that it’s yours, chosen by you, and protected from the encroachment of obligation.

How to Actually Make It Happen with a Busy Schedule

Wanting personal time and getting it are two different things. Here’s how to bridge that gap:

Start with planning and finding time. Intentionally organizing and scheduling your day is key to making time for yourself. Planning helps you carve out dedicated periods for self-care, even in a busy schedule. Consciously finding time—by looking for small windows or rearranging less important tasks—can make a big difference in your well-being.

Treat it like any other appointment. Put it in your calendar. Give it a name if that helps: “morning walk,” “reading hour,” “studio time.” When something is scheduled, it’s real. When it’s just a vague intention, it evaporates under the slightest pressure. Block out specific hours for self-care and treat them as non-negotiable appointments.

Start small and be consistent. If you’ve been running on fumes, don’t suddenly block off entire days—you’ll either fail to protect that time or feel overwhelmed by it. Start with fifteen minutes a day. Make use of your free time and little time throughout the day—short breaks, a few minutes between meetings, or even a solo lunch in the office can be opportunities for self-care. Even a few hours or less each week can make a meaningful difference. Make it non-negotiable. Once that becomes habit, expand gradually.

Communicate your boundaries and set boundaries. Tell the people in your life that you need this time, and explain why it matters. Most people will understand, especially when they see that a more rested, balanced version of you shows up for them afterward. For those who don’t understand, hold your ground anyway. Not everyone needs to validate your needs for those needs to be legitimate. Set boundaries at work and maintain them to protect your personal time.

Protect it fiercely. This is where most people falter. You’ve scheduled your personal time, but then a meeting request comes in, or someone needs help, or you convince yourself that this one thing is more important. Sometimes it genuinely is—emergencies happen. But if you habitually sacrifice your time for non-emergencies, you’re teaching everyone (including yourself) that your needs come last.

Maintain a balanced relationship with digital devices. Schedule daily ‘no-phone’ zones to prevent digital distractions from consuming your personal time. Establish a digital sunset by setting an electronics curfew at least one hour before bed to improve sleep quality. Minimize distractions by turning off notifications during focused work or relaxation times.

Practice self-care habits. Developing mindful habits, such as learning to say ‘no’ or using cognitive defusion exercises, takes practice. Repeating these actions helps build self-awareness, set boundaries, and incorporate self-care routines effectively.

Let go of productivity guilt. Your personal time doesn’t need to be “productive” in any traditional sense. You don’t need to emerge from it with a finished project or measurable progress. If all you do is stare at clouds and let your mind wander, that’s enough. Rest is productive. Boredom is productive. Joy is productive. They all refill the reserves that everything else depletes.

Tips for making time for yourself:

• Track your daily activities for a week to identify hidden pockets of time that can be reclaimed for self-care.
• Use the 6-12-6 Rule: six hours of focused work, 12 hours for personal tasks and relaxation, and six hours for sleep.
• Double up activities—listen to podcasts while exercising or combine chores with something you enjoy to create ‘Me Time.’
• Create a ‘Me Time Menu’ to list activities that rejuvenate you.
• Use the Eisenhower Matrix to prioritize tasks by urgency and importance.
• Try time-blocking or the Pomodoro Technique (25-minute focused bursts followed by short breaks) to structure your day.
• Use apps like Todoist for task management or AI tools like Motion or Reclaim.ai to automatically protect focus time and schedule personal habits.
• Schedule ‘Me Time’ in advance and treat it as a non-negotiable appointment.
• Include buffer time between tasks to account for interruptions or to reset.
• Ask for help from others to free up time for yourself.
• Take solo breaks in the office, such as a quiet lunch, to carve out personal time.

If you want to go deeper, consider enrolling in a free course or resource focused on self-care and time management. These courses can provide structured guidance, practical exercises, and support to help you transform your habits and reclaim your sense of self.

The Importance of Daily Life Balance

In the whirlwind of daily life, achieving balance can feel like an impossible goal—especially when your schedule is packed with work, family, and a never-ending to do list. Many of us find ourselves struggling to carve out even a few minutes for ourselves, and over time, this constant busyness can take a real toll on our mental health and well-being. The truth is, making space for self care isn’t just a nice idea; it’s a key part of maintaining your energy, focus, and sense of self in a world that rarely slows down.

When you’re juggling after school activities, household chores, and the needs of loved ones, it’s easy to put your own needs last. But spending time on yourself—even in small ways—can make a big difference. Taking a short walk, sitting quietly with a cup of tea, or simply pausing for a few deep breaths can help you reset and recharge. These moments of me time don’t have to be long or elaborate; what matters is making them a regular part of your routine.

Setting boundaries is essential for protecting your down time. It might mean saying no to an extra commitment, or letting your family know that you need a few minutes alone to regroup. At first, this can feel uncomfortable—especially if you’re used to putting everyone else first. But over time, making self care non-negotiable becomes second nature, and you’ll notice the benefits in your mood, self esteem, and relationships.

Remember, self care looks different for everyone. What helps one person unwind might not work for someone else, and that’s okay. The key is to explore different things and find what helps you feel present, relaxed, and fulfilled. Maybe it’s a walk around the block, a break from your phone, or a few minutes spent reading before bed. Start small, and don’t wait for extra time to magically appear—make your well-being a priority, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day.

In the long run, prioritizing daily life balance isn’t just about reducing stress; it’s about creating a life where you have enough time and energy for yourself, your loved ones, and your responsibilities. By making self care a regular part of your schedule, you’ll be better equipped to handle whatever the world throws your way—and you’ll be setting a powerful example for those around you. So take a deep breath, give yourself permission to pause, and remember: taking care of yourself is a necessary act of self-preservation, not a luxury.

The Ripple Effect of Self Care

Here’s what I’ve noticed in my own life and in others who’ve learned to prioritize themselves: when you consistently make time for yourself, you show up differently everywhere else. Taking time for yourself can help prevent stress from becoming unmanageable, allowing you to recognize the point where you need a break before reaching exhaustion. You’re more patient with your children because you’re not running on exhausted fumes. You’re more creative at work because your mind has had space to wander and make unexpected connections. You’re more present with friends because you’re not mentally counting down the minutes until you can finally be alone. Over time, making time for yourself can also boost your self-esteem and overall happiness.

You also model something important for the people around you—that taking care of yourself is normal, necessary, and nothing to feel guilty about. When your children see you reading for pleasure or disappearing for a solo walk, they learn that self-care isn’t indulgent. When your colleagues see you maintaining boundaries, they feel more permission to do the same. Protect your Me Time by treating it as a non-negotiable appointment, just like any other important commitment.

A Final Thought

We spend so much of our lives trying to be enough for other people. Enough for our employers, our families, our communities. But what about being enough for ourselves? What about honoring the person you are when no one is watching, asking, or needing?

Allocating time for yourself is an act of radical self-respect in a world that will gladly consume every minute you offer. It says: I matter, not just for what I produce or provide, but for who I am. My inner life deserves space. My needs are real.

Block out specific times for self-care in your schedule and treat them like important meetings that cannot be missed. Even dedicating just a few hours to yourself can have a big impact on your well-being. Remember to include buffer time between tasks to allow for unexpected interruptions or to reset, making your self-care more sustainable.

Start today. Not tomorrow when things calm down (they won’t). Not next week when you have more time (you won’t). Today. Even if it’s just ten minutes. Even if it feels strange. Even if guilt whispers that you should be doing something else.

If you want to learn more about making time for yourself, consider enrolling